Okay, do you wanna know the strangest dream I had? A while ago, I was doing this experimental Freudian thing where I would jot down a dream I'd just had using a scratch-pad beside my bed. Freud believed that dreams were best captured when they were the most vivid so the idea was to desribe the dream immediately after I'd awaken from it, before it dissipated into some subconscious part of the brain where all unmemorable dreams go and cannot be retrieved. Well, I had a dream a long time ago and scrawled it on three slips of white paper in the dark. I've just re-discovered it while I was cleaning my room and voila! The Strangest Dream. Here's what I wrote: "It's been mine since I was a lad," the Adventurer tells me, while opening a very small crawlspace in the desert. 'How'd you find that,' I think but a voiceover tells me that he's known this place all his life. The Adventurer grew up there. There's water and a plug to open. Suddenly, there's a studio audience and a dance floor and Tom Cruise with a turkey up his ass is there. There's a nice man whom I meet amid the crowd surrounding Cruise. Everyone seems to be chanting, "He's gay! He's gay!" at Cruise and I'm embarrassed for him. The nice man I met now begins to dance with me only the dance floor is more like a gymnasium now. We're dancing really well and just then, we're gonna go through a tunnel--" That's it. I really like the Tom Cruise turkey scenario. Very entertaining. But I have no idea what any of this means. Was the Freudian experiment successful or should I stop finding stupid slips of paper in my room? You decide.